


All Stars, Thirst Traps and Chirping As A Love Language

by tillyenna



Series: 15-16 Draft GC [24]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, chat fic, chirping as a love language, crack adjacent, real world events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27167029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillyenna/pseuds/tillyenna
Summary: In this chapter:the sudden influx of jamie benn thirst traps on intsaTyson Foerster being drafted by the flyersThe cancellation of the ASG
Relationships: Auston Matthews/Frederik Andersen, Claude Giroux/Danny Briere, Connor McDavid/Leon Draisaitl, Dylan Strome/Alex DeBrincat, Eddie Lack/Robert Luongo, Jeff Carter/Mike Richards, Matthew Tkachuk/Everyone, Michael Latta/Tom Wilson, Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews, Sidney Crosby/Nathan MacKinnon, Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick, cale makar/carter hart
Series: 15-16 Draft GC [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776370
Comments: 72
Kudos: 148





	1. The Group Chat

TBear:

| 

@Segs, I hope you appreciate what I’m doing for you here  
  
---|---  
  
TBear:

| 

“Sure brandt, post loads of thirst traps of Jam on insta, it’ll be good for business”  
  
Segsy:

| 

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT  
  
Segsy:

| 

Like JAYSUS he is looking good right now  
  
Segsy:

| 

I mean, obviously he always looks good  
  
Segsy:

| 

But LKSJDFLADG he looks good right now  
  
TBear:

| 

So thirsty he’s keysmashing 😉  
  
Segsy:

| 

Beyond thirsty.  
  
TBear:

| 

Want me to invite you up here?  
  
Segsy:

| 

☹ like, it’s a bit suspect if YOU invite me  
  
Segsy:

| 

Obviously, like hint to him that HE should invite me  
  
TBear:

| 

YOU SHOULD HEAR ME  
  
TBear:

| 

I AM WINGMANNING YOU SO HARD IT’S UNREAL  
  
TBear:

| 

“I wonder what Tyler’s doing”  
  
TBear:

| 

“You should invite him up”  
  
Segsy:

| 

You are a true friend Tys  
  
Segsy:

| 

Also @chucky saw you were in Dallas, have fun?  
  
Chucky:

| 

It was ok.  
  
Chucky:

| 

I mean, my favourite bisexual disaster wasn’t in the area so…  
  
Segsy:

| 

:D  
  
TBear:

| 

HEY  
  
TBear:

| 

What am I?  
  
TBear:

| 

Second rate bisexual disaster???  
  
Segsy:

| 

OMG media put a thing on our twitter all “without saying their name which is your favourite stars player”  
  
Segsy:

| 

And someone commented “Canadian Bisexual Disaster”  
  
Segsy:

| 

And I was like THAT’S ME THAT’S ME  
  
Segsy:

| 

But I didn’t comment  
  
Kaner:

| 

Because you remembered how well you coming out on twitter went last time?  
  
Stromer:

| 

I KNEW that was a coming out attempt  
  
Kaner:

| 

Like, it doesn’t read any other way amiright?  
  
Segsy:

| 

Except to straight peeps apparently 🤷‍♂️  
  
Josty:

| 

Wait, Tys, you’re responsible for all the JBenn content?  
  
TBear:

| 

Yes?  
  
Josty:

| 

Gods gift to thirst traps  
  
Cale:

| 

EW. No. You CAN’T thirst over Benn  
  
Josty:

| 

I definitely can…  
  
Cale:

| 

After the playoffs???  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Wait, is that why you refuse to read Bennguin atm?  
  
Cale:

| 

… maybe?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

:D so petty with your fic choices  
  
Cale:

| 

Oh I’m sorry… how is your Latts/Richy binge read going?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

😂 never said petty fic reading was a bad thing  
  
Willy:

| 

Wait what?  
  
Willy:

| 

Latts and RICHY?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

There’s a lot of chemistry  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Read a super cute fic where Richy is Latts’ sugar daddy  
  
Latts:

| 

I’m up for that…  
  
Richy:

| 

Wanna be my arm candy Latts, and I’ll buy you pretty shit  
  
Latts:

| 

Hell yes  
  
Latts:

| 

We can fish and chill and I’ll even call you daddy if you want 😉  
  
Willy:

| 

Wait WHAT?  
  
Willy:

| 

YOU DON’T NEED A SUGAR DADDY!!!  
  
Cartsy:

| 

I’m honestly more concerned about Richy wanting some eye candy  
  
Cartsy:

| 

WHAT THE FUCK AM I MIKEY?  
  
EJ:

| 

Cale’s boy sowing discord in the gc  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Oops 😇  
  
Cale:

| 

Wrong emoji 😉  
  
Cale:

| 

🤠  
  
Cale:

| 

Your Pricey side is showing babes 😉  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Pretend for a second that you don’t love it…. I dare you…  
  
Tazer:

| 

His pricey side?  
  
Cale:

| 

<https://princesstillyenna.tumblr.com/post/632676112197173248>  
  
Cale:

| 

Sometimes 79 listens to the price on his shoulder more than the Holtby  
  
Willy:

| 

Dude…  
  
Willy:

| 

I kind of love it  
  
Willy:

| 

I’ve sent it to holts  
  
Josty:

| 

I have an unrelated question  
  
Josty:

| 

For @EJ  
  
EJ:

| 

Shoot  
  
Josty:

| 

Are you fining Nate for his use of the v-word during his twitch streams  
  
Nate:

| 

BRO NO!  
  
EJ:

| 

I mean…  
  
Nate:

| 

EJ…. Come on  
  
Teeks:

| 

You aren’t allowed to say vagina?  
  
Nate:

| 

NO, the OTHER v-word?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Vulva?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Wow, the Avs really IS the gayest team in the league  
  
Teeks:

| 

Vaginas and vulvas all banned 😂  
  
Hartsy:

| 

They aren’t allowed to say vibe  
  
Hartsy:

| 

And honestly, I had always assumed that it was because of Josty  
  
Hartsy:

| 

But tumblr is leading me to believe it was Nate  
  
Josty:

| 

I got it re-banned  
  
Josty:

| 

Nate was the reason it was banned in the first place  
  
Nate:

| 

But it doesn’t count if EJ isn’t there  
  
Cale:

| 

EJ IS ALWAYS WATCHING  
  
Cale:

| 

ALWAYS  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Always?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Even that time I f  
  
Hartsy:

| 

FELL OVER EVEN THOUGH I AM AN NHL GOALIE? LOL  
  
Josty:

| 

@cale did you just steal hartsys phone?  
  
Josty:

| 

Subtle  
  
Cale:

| 

I jumped on that grenade  
  
Cale:

| 

Because I’m pretty sure if 79 talks about stuff like that in the gc I will get fined  
  
EJ:

| 

Correct  
  
EJ:

| 

Although I do like the concept that I’m omniscient  
  
Teeks:

| 

???  
  
EJ:

| 

I see everything  
  
Stromer:

| 

I love you tk  
  
Stromer:

| 

But you are such a fucking hockey player stereotype  
  
Teeks:

| 

ME?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Have you guys seen mine and Patty’s new baby????  
  
Claude:

| 

No.  
  
Claude:

| 

That’s not a no I’ve not seen him  
  
Claude:

| 

That’s a no you’re not having him  
  
Claude:

| 

He will be someone elses rookie  
  
Claude:

| 

No.  
  
Danny:

| 

?  
  
Claude:

| 

Foerster our top pick  
  
Claude:

| 

He’s a pasty, blushy, foul mouthed, camo wearing, fishing hunting irritating little shit  
  
Claude:

| 

AND I HAVE ENOUGH OF THOSE ALREADY  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patty says he loves you btw g  
  
Teeks:

| 

Direct quote “AWwww, he said all that about me? Tell Papa G I love him too”  
  
Teeks:

| 

But yeah, bb Tys looks like me and patty had a kid and he travelled back in time  
  
Teeks:

| 

So fckn psyhed to work with him :D  
  
Danny:

| 

I dunno boys  
  
Danny:

| 

How do we feel about G having to work with really fucking irritating rookies?  
  
Cartsy:

| 

😂  
  
Richy:

| 

😂😂😂😂😂  
  
Danny:

| 

See my point chéri?  
  
Claude:

| 

I know I was a little shit  
  
Claude:

| 

But I paid my penance with TK  
  
Claude:

| 

And carried on paying my penance with Patty  
  
Claude:

| 

And every time Hartsy has a “pricey” day apparently  
  
Teeks:

| 

NGL appreciate that we have a term for that now  
  
Teeks:

| 

Me: hartsy, stop being such a pricey lil bitch and get your Holtby on  
  
Hartsy:

| 

😂😂😂  
  
Hartsy:

| 

🤠  
  
Davo:

| 

ASG is officially cancelled :D :D :D :D  
  
Drai:

| 

We already knew it was to be cancelled?  
  
Davo:

| 

OFFICIALLY :D  
  
Segsy:

| 

Why are you… pleased… about this?  
  
Davo:

| 

Why would you NOT be pleased about this?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Concon hates the asg  
  
Segsy:

| 

HOW CAN YOU HATE THE ASG?  
  
Segsy:

| 

IT’S LITERALLY AN ENTIRE WEEKEND OF HOCKEY AND SEX  
  
Chucky:

| 

And all the straight boys who are willing to “experiment” because… it’s the ASG  
  
Marns:

| 

ASG is THE BEST  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’m kind of mad it’s cancelled this year  
  
Chucky:

| 

Knowing I wasted last years ASG hookup  
  
Marns:

| 

WOW  
  
Marns:

| 

Fuckin OUCH  
  
Chucky:

| 

NOT IN LIKE THAT WAY  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’m not saying hooking up with your was a WASTE  
  
Chucky:

| 

It’s just like…  
  
Chucky:

| 

I can hook up with you whenever  
  
Chucky:

| 

You’re kind of easy that way  
  
Howdy:

| 

Are you going to need a ladder to get yourself out of that hole you’re digging Chuck?  
  
Marns:

| 

Keep going  
  
Marns:

| 

See if I ever hook up with you again :P  
  
Matts:

| 

DUDE… You’d need to find a new leafs hookup  
  
Chucky:

| 

You offering Matts?  
  
Freddie:

| 

No  
  
Chucky:

| 

😂😂😂😂😂  
  
Chucky:

| 

Well Barrie isn’t on the leafs anymore  
  
Chucky:

| 

Tavares?  
  
JT:

| 

-.-  
  
JT:

| 

Nice to see I’m so high up your list  
  
Chucky:

| 

That wasn’t a no 😉  
  
JT:

| 

No.  
  
JT:

| 

⬆ there’s my no.  
  
JT:

| 

I’m like a DECADE older than you  
  
Sid:

| 

Ouch  
  
Sid:

| 

#calledout  
  
Nate:

| 

😉  
  
Danny:

| 

I feel like in hockey terms a decade isn’t a lot  
  
Claude:

| 

We have established that we’re all immature little fuckers anyway  
  
Staalsy:

| 

Age is just a number  
  
Chucky:

| 

I like the fact that the vets are all trying to convince JT to hook up with me  
  
Richy:

| 

It may look that way  
  
Richy:

| 

But they actually aren’t  
  
Segsy:

| 

He’s part of team pining  
  
Segsy:

| 

Remember?  
  
Marns:

| 

Johnny boy are you pining over one of the rookies?!?!?!?  
  
JT:

| 

Just ignore them Mitch  
  
Stromer:

| 

😂😂😂  
  
Stromer:

| 

Yeah Mitchy, I’m sure it’s no concern who JT has a crush on…  
  
JT:

| 

I DON’T have a crush Pick  
  
Stromer:

| 

Keep telling yourself that…  
  
Stromer:

| 

Evidence suggests otherwise  
  
JT:

| 

I have two annoying baby sisters pickle, I don’t need an annoying baby brother to add to that  
  
Stromer:

| 

Am I annoying though?  
  
Brinks:

| 

Yes  
  
Brinks:

| 

<3  
  
Cartsy:

| 

Is there a single hockey relationship that ISN’T based on chirps  
  
Richy:

| 

Not fuckin OURS…  
  
Stromer:

| 

Yeah, Davo and Drat are nice to each other  
  
Stromer:

| 

It’s fuckin weird…  
  
Matts:

| 

I’m nice to fred like, 50% of the time?  
  
Freddie:

| 

I don’t think you’re capable of being nice 100%  
  
Matts:

| 

Ouch :D  
  
Richy:

| 

See, chirps are like, integral to being in love with a hockey player  
  
Davo:

| 

They really aren’t though  
  
Davo:

| 

It’s totally possible to have a healthy loving relationship  
  
Davo:

| 

Where you discuss your feelings like adults  
  
Drai:

| 

😏  
  
Cartsy:

| 

LIES  
  
Cartsy:

| 

Don’t listen to him baby rookies  
  
Cartsy:

| 

He’s clearly a hockey robot  
  
Lu:

| 

How can you show someone you love them without chirping them?  
  
Lack:

| 

… it’s a mystery  
  
Stromer:

| 

They do non ironic valentines cards  
  
TBear:

| 

HEY! I did a non ironic valentine for Gabe  
  
Cale:

| 

That was peak cute  
  
Cale:

| 

It’s like the ultimate moment in the you/gabe ship  
  
TBear:

| 

Oho, random question baby cale  
  
Cale:

| 

?  
  
TBear:

| 

Who DO you ship me with?  
  
Cale:

| 

Erm…  
  
Cale:

| 

It’s hard. Like, any of my answers are going to upset people at this point  
  
TBear:

| 

???  
  
Cale:

| 

Well, your top big ships in my head are Gabe, Nate or JBenn  
  
Cale:

| 

So like, I can only say Gabe  
  
Cale:

| 

But I don’t like to ship Gabe with people  
  
Cale:

| 

Because Mel is a beautiful terrifying lady who could probably kill me if she tried  
  
TBear:

| 

???  
  
TBear:

| 

MEL IS LOVELY  
  
Cale:

| 

WOMEN TERRIFY ME  
  
Lu:

| 

I love the rookies  
  
Lu:

| 

The salady one is MOST adorable  
  
Cale:

| 

😳😳😳😳😳  
  
Cale:

| 

*dies*


	2. Team Pining

JT:

| 

He hooked up with Chucky  
  
---|---  
  
JT:

| 

Correction  
  
JT:

| 

He HOOKS up with chucky. Present tense  
  
Segsy:

| 

Doesn’t everyone?  
  
JT:

| 

I DON’T  
  
Staalsy:

| 

I also… don’t…  
  
JT:

| 

Yeah, but they used to play together in juniors  
  
JT:

| 

They have HISTORY  
  
JT:

| 

And they’re the same fucking age  
  
JT:

| 

They were playing in juniors together when I was ALREADY CAPTAIN OF AN NHL TEAM  
  
JT:

| 

I just need to get over him  
  
Staalsy:

| 

I get that.  
  
Staalsy:

| 

Honestly, I thought being on a different team would help me get over Jeff  
  
Staalsy:

| 

And it really fucking didn’t.  
  
Segsy:

| 

There is no getting over it  
  
Segsy:

| 

There is only pining and sadness and staring for hours upon hours at insta stories  
  
JT:

| 

I only GOT Instagram because Mitch asked me to follow his “finsta”  
  
Segsy:

| 

Dude you ARE old  
  
Staalsy:

| 

Emotionally, you are quite old JT  
  
JT:

| 

🤷‍♂️  
  
Segsy:

| 

Still don’t think you’re too old for Marns though  
  
JT:

| 

HE thinks I’m too old for him and that’s the point though  
  
Staalsy:

| 

Does he though?  
  
Staalsy:

| 

Like, he’s the same age as Matthews, and Freds OLDER than you are  
  
Staalsy:

| 

And he’s obviously supportive of that relationship  
  
Segsy:

| 

Isn’t matts like his best friend  
  
JT:

| 

Apparently they are “bffs five ever”  
  
JT:

| 

According to Mitchy  
  
Segsy:

| 

SEE  
  
Segsy:

| 

He’d be on board with you  
  
JT:

| 

Except every time it comes up in the group chat like, it seems to never occur to him that it could be him  
  
JT:

| 

Despite the fact I KNOW pickle is chirping him about it  
  
JT:

| 

Which means on some level he must know  
  
JT:

| 

But him asking about was it some rookie?  
  
JT:

| 

Like, that’s as big as saying “anyone but me, please.”  
  
Staalsy:

| 

Maybe it really HASN’T occurred to him that it could be him  
  
JT:

| 

HOW COULD IT NOT?  
  
JT:

| 

He’s literally the MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON OUR TEAM  
  
Segsy:

| 

Does he know that though?  
  
JT:

| 

He HAS to know that  
  
Segsy:

| 

But DOES he?  
  
JT:

| 

:/  
  
JT:

| 

I… hadn’t though of that.


	3. A Captain and his Boy

Cap:

| 

You know you’re a catch, right mitchy?  
  
---|---  
  
Mitchy:

| 

Is this about Chucky being a tool on the gc  
  
Mitchy:

| 

Because honestly, that’s just Matty chirping  
  
Mitchy:

| 

Like I’m cool with it  
  
Cap:

| 

Still…  
  
Cap:

| 

You have to know he’s the one batting out of his league there?  
  
Mitchy:

| 

You think MATTY is out of MY league???  
  
Mitchy:

| 

Dude, have you MET him?  
  
Mitchy:

| 

Have you met ME?  
  
Cap:

| 

Obviously yes, on both counts  
  
Cap:

| 

My statement still stands  
  
Mitchy:

| 

How many shots have you blocked with your head recently cap?  
  
Cap:

| 

I mean it!  
  
Cap:

| 

And none, you cheeky little shit  
  
Cap:

| 

:D  
  
Mitchy:

| 

You’re biased though  
  
Mitchy:

| 

I’m your liney  
  
Cap:

| 

I frequently tell Aus that Freddie is out of his league  
  
Mitchy:

| 

That doesn’t count, they’re both your teammates  
  
Cap:

| 

Aus is like the same league as Chucky  
  
Mitchy:

| 

They used to be a thing  
  
Cap:

| 

Really???  
  
Mitchy:

| 

Yep. NDTP  
  
Cap:

| 

Fucking Americans…  
  
Mitchy:

| 

Idk, I think it’s cool  
  
Mitchy:

| 

My bff and I lost our vcards to the same guy 😂  
  
Cap:

| 

TMI mitchy  
  
Cap:

| 

Also I’m beginning to wonder if I’m the only hockey player who HASN’T slept with Chucky  
  
Mitchy:

| 

You and Draisaitl I think 😂  
  
Cap:

| 

An exclusive club for sure  
  
Mitchy:

| 

You ever gonna tell me who it is that you’re crushing on btw?  
  
Cap:

| 

No?  
  
Mitchy:

| 

☹  
  
Cap:

| 

Tell you what… if I ever tell him, you’ll be the first to know…


End file.
